Daniel

Remember the old Elton John song called 'Daniel'...well I heard this a few days ago...though Daniel is my own name, it's also the name of my dad, who 'officially' died five years ago today. He had a massive heart attack on the 10th of December, 2001 and was only being kept alive by breathing machines. But on the 18th he was unplugged, and he died within minutes.
I had already considered him 'gone' days before then, but neverless I kissed him on his forehead, and thanked him for being a good father. And he was.
If there was one word to describe my dad, that would be DRIVEN...he had a hard time when his parents died when he was only 23, just out of the navy... he had to virtually raise his younger siblings, some of whom he had a falling out with later on.
He had only one kid...me...
He loved music, and he loved to sing. One of my eariest memories is him singing "I Wanna Be Around" by Tony Bennett while we would drive around, and he would try to get me to sing along.
After getting a good job at IBM, he moved me and my mom to a nice house in San Jose. This is where I grew up.
He was driven...He immedialtely embarked on household projects like laying brick, replacing some of the plumbing, pulling down trees, installing new appliances...he did it all himself, with no help from others, except sometimes from Uncle Joe and Uncle Bob, who were equally doing similar projects in their homes, and they enjoyed drinking beers in the process. And of course, he always had me, to hand him the right tools and such.
Dan was also a strict parent. I think it carries over from his own father, Louis Guerra...
He was a hitter...if I did something wrong, or said someting wrong....SMACK! "You do what I say! you hear??"
I recoiled, maybe even distanted myself emotionally from him, or from what he represented: Only admonishment, all the time...
I resented my dad for a long time when I was a teen...I considered him a bully and a tyrant.
And then...I left home for college, and, after having experienced another ultimatum, I did a few rebel things on my own.
Later I knew...and realized that my dad was only trying to raise me in the only way HE knew...the way he was brought up.
And that is, that you Love...in whatever uncertain or dysfunctional way, you only do these things.
As we got older, me and my dad became best friends...buddies! We would go fishing, go to ballgames...and my mom too, bless her heart...
I think that it's best when you can eventually become friends...buddies...with your parents, and I became buddies with mine...
But I miss my buddy Daniel...oh I miss him so much.